A post for my clients..past & future. A little bit [or maybe a whole lot] of me. {Erin Phillips Photography, Slidell LA family photographer}.

The summer is almost over and I cannot believe it. It went by so fast, TOO fast really! We really only got 2 months of summer this year with my son in school and it just doesn’t seem long enough. We have packed ALOT into it with Ayden’s Foundation of Hope‘s first Annual fishing tournament, moving into our new house, unpacking, VBS, more unpacking, family visits, our son Caleb’s 7th birthday party, and much more of the messy mundane. But it’s been beautiful. I haven’t picked up my camera much as I rely on instagram ALL too much for the quick every day snaps, but for these last 2.5 weeks of summer I plan to capture a ton with my trusty camera lovie, because honestly—I miss it! As beautiful as this time has been it’s also been very difficult as it is a reminder of all the things we used to love doing with Ayden. He loved life so much, and we love him SO big, that there’s a hole in everything we do and in every thought we think. We passed the one year mark without him in June and I can’t believe it’s been that long. I miss my boy so much! I want him here. I want to take his pictures, and see his smile, kiss his chubby cheeks and tell him how much his mommy loves him. But I can’t, and so I just so very unpatiently wait for the day that I can again.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this. Honestly, I don’t know.. With another year of photographing families, babies, & children approaching, I just felt like sharing a bit of me.

The thing is..I almost quit.

When Ayden went to Heaven, I swore I wouldn’t return to photographing any one else, much less get out of bed every morning. But I had to do the latter for my kids, my sanity, and myself. And well, the photographing just kind of was a part of me I couldn’t shake. I remember I was beating myself up over having poured so much of me into the business, and “why did I spend so much time editing those pictures” and “why did I have to be away from the kids when I’d go for a session” and why why why. Even though I’ve been a stay at home mom since I’ve had kids, would mostly would edit when they were sleeping, and I planned my sessions around when my husband could watch the kids, I still found reasons as to why I should have done more. At one point my husband Darryl looked at me and said, “You were just living life babe, you were great with those kids and always did special crafts and things, and were always with them, and… if you weren’t a photographer we wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Ayden, what if we didn’t have those?”

If I didn’t have those pictures, I’d truly be heartbroken. They are my most cherished possessions. They are memories frozen in time that I cannot get back. But I can remember the smell of lime jello from the picture I have of sticky little boy hands. I can hear the laughter from my two boys when I look at photos of them on their swingset in the backyard. I can feel Ayden’s hug when I see the picture of him hugging his sweet Mickey Mouse. I cannot get these days back but those memories..those are mine.

I know this is personal, and not happy go lucky, but this is me being real. This is the me my clients will see and feel in the work I do. I LOVE photographing other peoples moments & memories. I will put 110% into the before, during, and after of my sessions. I will laugh and hug and joke with my clients, and hope that I more than exceed their expectations. I will fully enjoy capturing your families memories for you and even more so know how truly important it is. I WILL mention all three of my kids and will not for a second mind if you mention Ayden. I love love love to hear his name. I am a grieving momma of my boy in Heaven with a husband, 2 kids, and amazing family & friends by my side here on earth. I love to laugh. I am passionate about LIFE. I am passionate about living it fully and wholeheartedly.  I am passionate about making memories and not wasting time with the family God gave me. I am passionate about color and showing love through and life through every photo I take. I am passionate about documenting and capturing those memories so you may never forget that moment in time.I am passionate about Jesus and the hope He gives that I will see my boy again.

If you get anything out of this, just please take pictures of your kids, and often. Enjoy the moments..because the moments become memories. Embrace the messy hands, and the sweaty faces, and the laughter of your children.  And know there’s a mom who also happens to be a photographer who desperately misses one of hers.

PS–This right here..this memory is priceless.